The 6 Ds - ADHD-friendly organisation for overwhelm!
With neurodiversity, such as ADHD, or chronic illnesses, overwhelm is very common and writing a to-do list can often make it worse initially.
When you are overwhelmed, it can be easy to spiral and spend the day in paralysis, doing nothing. Here are two of my methods for coping with overwhelm paralysis— see if either work for you!
Initial Steps for Coping with Overwhelm
First write your to-do list or use the Eisenhower Matrix below. With your eyes closed, take a slow deep breath in and release it gradually. Do this a few more times if you feel panicked still.
Next, for each item on the list, ask yourself “Is this a project or a task?” - the reason for this is that NOBODY can just do a project without planning details. A project is made up of lots of little tasks and maybe some larger ones. So if you wrote down “Write a novel” or “Record an album” then you have yourself a project.
See if you can break the project up into tasks. Then take those smaller pieces and see if you can break them up any smaller. E.g. instead of thinking ‘write a novel’ or a ‘write a chapter of a novel’, realise that you might need to write an overview of each chapter. You can then either start to do this right away or plan a time to do the smaller, more accomplishable, first step.
Strategy One: Eisenhower Matrix for ADHD
The Eisenhower matrix is known for its simplicity to help you organise tasks. Instead of writing a to do list, print this image and write into the four boxes. Paired with my strategies below, you can get a lot more done.
Do - The first box (top left) is everything important that needs to be done in the next 48 hours that you absolutely cannot delegate to anyone else. You should try to focus on this box for the next 48 hours and ignore everything else once you have followed the rest of these steps.
Dedicate Time - The second box (top right) is everything important that doesn’t need to be done in the next 48 hours. Schedule a time to tackle these tasks later in the week.
Delegate - The third box (bottom left) is all the tasks that are urgent but not as important. They can be handled by someone else or, at a push, maybe you can get deadline extensions for these if no one can help you.
Delete - The final box (bottom right) are tasks you are probably never going to get done. If they aren’t due soon, you won’t feel that urgency and pressure to do them. Likewise, if they are not important to you, you won’t ever prioritise them. You may need to make peace with the fact they will never get done or it may take years to get around to doing. If you feel resistance to this fact, ask yourself if the tasks might actually be important or if you are just struggling to accept you aren’t superhuman!
Strategy Two: The 6 Ds to help you prioritise!
Do It Now!
Can it be done in 5 minutes or less? Circle the jobs on your list that can, then set a timer for 5 minutes and do them. If you get get easily distracted, you may also wish to try this with a song that is about 4 minutes long. Play the song whilst you do the task. The silence of the song stopping (don’t play it on shuffle or play an album) will tell you it is time to move on soon. Then, the alarm will go off to tell you to restart the timer and begin the next task. Ideal tasks for this are:
Gather your washing and start a load of laundry
Gather dirty dishes, put them in the dishwasher and start the dishwasher
Tidy your desk
Take out the bins
Water the plants
Delete It!
Are all the jobs on your list necessary? Ask yourself: “Does this support the life I’m trying to create?"
It might be that some jobs actually aren’t that important and you can let go of some of your expectations. Are you cleaning your whole house just because it is Christmas and the in-laws are coming over and you feel they will judge you? In this example, you might have a ton of different cleaning and organising to do and you may decide to delete a few off (or many!) off the list.
If you have taken on too much, what can you say no to? If you have, in a moment of intense enthusiasm, accidentally volunteered to chair the school’s Parents’ Association meetings, you might not want to do this or have time for this in reality! Perhaps you might think how to let them know you cannot do this every time they meet, or give them a month’s notice so they can find someone new, for example. You may wish to have a look at some resources on boundaries or get some coaching for people-pleasing tendencies.
In sum, find ways to reduce your workload by deleting things that aren’t necessary.
Delegate It!
If you have a tons of tasks to do and you feel overwhelmed, you may have taken on too much! In the short term, ask yourself who can help with these jobs today or this week? Can you give some of them to your partner, kids, a PA, neighbour or friend? Make it fun by challenging your kids — whoever cleans the best wins a prize, for example.
In the longer term, ask yourself if is everyone in the house pulling their weight? Can your partner and kids do more? Do you need a chore rota? Can you afford a cleaner, a PA or a babysitter to help relieve some of the extra overwhelm?
Know that you don’t have to do it all — work out what your support system is and how it can help you.
Dial It Down!
Feeling overwhelmed because the task seems so immense or it feels like you will never live up to your own expectations? Ask yourself again ‘Is this a project?’ (see above!). Then, either see if you can break the task down into smaller pieces or dial down your expectations.
You may be suffering from some perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionism might mean you can’t even start a job because you feel you will never be good enough — for yourself or for someone else. But it is important to push yourself out of your comfort zone and give yourself permission to do something ‘badly’. I don’t mean you try to do it badly on purpose, but if you normally take an hour to wash your car and only have half an hour spare, try and do it but not to the standard you normally hold yourself to.
If you suffer from perfectionist tendencies, it may be hard to delegate jobs to others, so pay attention to that, as well. You may need coaching to help you through these mind blocks.
Delay It!
The things that aren’t urgent or important can be put off for now. The Eisenhower Matrix above is good for sorting out these priority levels. Focus on one (or two) days at a time. Ask yourself:
What must I get done today? What cannot wait til tomorrow?
What will make later in the week even harder if I don't get it done in the next couple of days?
When you are in overwhelm, it is very hard to see beyond tomorrow. If it needs to be done today or tomorrow, then see how you can do these tasks - then repeat 2 days later (the day after tomorrow).
Daily Jobs
This is probably the most important one, as a daily routine helps you to not allow the overwhelm to build up. Here are some ways you can do that:
Allocate 10 minutes to tidying up your work area at the end of the working day.
Allocate 10 minutes to tidying up your living room and kitchen before bed.
Plan your meals in advance of the week. I like to do mine on a Sunday evening. You can get a free meal planner here.
Bulk cook (2 portions per person) and freeze the other portions, so that you can have that meal again later in the week / month.
If you are struggling with time management, overwhelm and organisation, then see how I can help you and book a discovery session.
